Back to Perth

1:15 am 28/09/2019, the Malaysia airline MH127 landed in Perth airport and I was one of the passengers. A sense of nostalgia quickly swept my mind, but this wasn’t a coming home trip, this is just a visit, and soon enough within a week of landing, I found closure and answers to many things in my mind.

When my brother picked me up from the airport and drove me home, sitting in his car, watching the familiar street sights appearing through the windscreen, memories started rushing back, for a moment I could not believe that this was my life 4 years ago. Things are so quiet, things have not changed a bit, I felt like I have never left, and somehow a sense of loneliness and isolation came back to my mind, like the (bad) old days. In a way, I felt glad that I took a leap of faith and my life has never been the same since.

In the last weeks, visiting my old frequent places in Perth and seeing old faces again, here are a few mental notes I take for myself

1. Would I ever return to live in Perth?  I think the answer to this question is quite obvious: No. I have contemplated this idea in the past but this visit helps affirm the answer. Living here again would bring back the bad memories I had, the sense of isolation and loneliness, the depression that I went through, the routine, the inability to travel, … I honestly don’t think I could do it all over again. I like liveliness, excitement, the opportunities to travel on the weekend, nature and history, diverse culture and people, and a sense of belonging. I could not find them here. I told myself and many others people before that coming to Perth was one of the mistakes I’ve made, I did not know about Perth before I arrived 11 years ago, I listened to my high school teacher who praised Perth to the sky and talked down on Melbourne or Sydney, and ignorantly I listened to her, hence I chose Perth. But oh boy when I travelled to Melbourne in 2013, Gosh I fell in love with the city. But I think things happen for a reason. Had I not lived in Perth and went through and the ups and downs, I would not have been in Europe and living my life today, probably would have settled in Mel by now. So for that, I am grateful for the ‘bad’ experience that brought me to where I am today.
2. Happiness is a choice. I saw an old colleague of mine yesterday, then visited the office where I used to work. While I was roaming Europe in the last 4 years, people that I know here are still living their routine daily life, doing the same stuff, maybe with some changes like having a business or having children now, but pretty much the same thing, little major changes or excitement (or at least I see it that way). After a coffee with the girl who trained me when I was a junior accountant where we both agreed that the place we used to work at was very mundane, boring, and the bosses are exploitative, paid us peanuts despite the fact that we were qualified accountants and the cost of living in Perth is so high , I went to that very same office, and not much to my surprise, my good old colleagues are still there!  4 years have passed and they are still there, working for the same boss, and do not get the salary they deserve. A realisation came to my mind that happiness is a choice, it’s the decision and the action you choose to make. I chose to leave that place because I wanted to change my life, I did not have a clue of what I would be doing in the UK at the time but I made the jump, and 4 years later and one hell of a roller coaster ride, I am sitting there in their office, asking why they would not do the same, and all I felt was the fear of going to the unknown and doing something that is out of their comfort zone. In other words, they are too settled, too settled of their routine life, and have long accepted that this is how their life should be, without the will power to make a drastic change. In a way, I feel proud of myself for making the decision that everyone was against me at that time, but it brought me here today, to a much happier place, doing the job that I love, surrounding myself with the people that I love, living the life I’ve dreamt of, and just want to rub it in their faces, earning twice (or more) as much as I was earning when I was here.

So, decision is clear, I will not return to live in Perth, and I am not sure there would be another visit soon, but I am really looking forward to the road trip down to Esperance next week with my brother, because despite of everything, WA  has stunning natural beauties.

Dear Perth

Dear Perth,

I’ve never thought there comes a day I pen this heart-felt letter, the past 7 years and 7 months was a long time and now looking back, it was just a blink of an eye. Perth, you are a big chapter of my life, a whole roller coaster with many challenges, emotions and experiences that I will never forget. I spent almost 1/3 of my life here in this city, I had the best time as well as the worst. I met many awesome people and some friendship that I will cherish for the rest of my life, I also learned lessons about the people that I have removed from my life for a better good. I believe things happen for a reason, and everything happened here is a part of a chapter of my life story that I am the author. And for that, I have no regret whatsoever.

Well, let’s go back in time on a summer day in January 2008, Perth greeted my arrival with a 36 degrees Celsius, which I later learned it was just the beginning of many many hotter days ahead. I was 17 at the time and had to live in a homestay in Tuart Hill for 3 months where my guardian was a 76 years old lady, and to be absolutely honest, it wasn’t the best time of my life. Having coming from Singapore where everything was so readily available at the door step, living in that homestay was quite a shock for me as things just wasn’t what I had expected. There were only 2 people living in the house, including myself, there was no Internet, no air-con, no housemate that I can talk to, no people on my street, no shops around. Food was restricted and I was not allowed to eat her food. Street got pitch dark at night, shops at the time closed at 5pm, trips to school took 1.5 hours. As there were no Internet, I had no means of communication to my friends and family, no method of doing research and I felt like I was isolated from the world and felt totally helpless. The worst thing was the feeling of loneliness and helplessness as there was nothing I could do to get out of here. I started regretting the decision of coming to Perth, I fell into a depression.

Things got better when school started 2 weeks later,  I was quite impressed myself that I managed to get to school on time the first day, at that time, I had no maps, no GPS phone, of course no Internet to do my research, my homestay host was not that helpful as she had never heard of the name of my college before. All I knew at that time was some bus number to catch (without knowing where to stop), I just trusted my intuition, hopped on the bus, observed people whom looked like international students, and followed them. Thanks goodness, I stopped exactly where I needed to and arrived at school safe and sound. There, finally I had someone to talk to and … the Internet, felt like I had met civilisation again.

Needless to say, I changed homestay after 3 months. The next homestay was superb, close to school, great food, I had 2 other housemates that I could talk to and we went to school together. I then moved out of homestay situation and started living independently on my 18th birthday. The rest was history and since 2008, I have moved house 8 times 🙂 There were of course many ups and downs and I had stayed with so many housemates that I can’t remember all the names now but just let it be the history.

Let’s skip the parts where I got my first part-time job, first bf, some fallouts, my brother came to Australia, graduation, etc and go to 2012.

2012 was probably the worst year of my life so far. It was the year I started my first full-time job and started developing depression. It reminded me of the time back in 2008, but this time, the depression lasted over a year. When we were in Uni, all of us couldn’t wait to graduate, but after graduation and entered into the real world, things weren’t like what we all had expected. And for me, it was a combination of many factors that really tested my mentality. I often asked myself at the time ‘How am I feeling?’ and the words that could describe my feelings at that time were always: suffocated, trapped, dead-end, lonely, meaningless, hopeless. And I realised I might have had depression. And it was the worst feeling ever. It was like walking in a dark tunnel and saw no light. It was like being trapped in a box and there was no escape. I felt like if I lived or died, no one would bother. I started questioning the purpose of my existence and the meaning of life. I just couldn’t see how my life will change for the better, or how long this situation would last. I was really depressed.

People have depression for different reasons. For me, after graduation, I found myself in that state of isolation again. After graduation, people went to different places and different directions, so the people I normally met were no longer there. I was offered a graduate position at an Accounting firm where the pay was (very) low for a UWA graduate. But my mom told me to accept it anyway because I needed the work experience that might help me with my visa. First day on the job, it hit me straight away that it wasn’t the sort of job or the career that I wanted to follow, and the pay that I was getting just didn’t match the job I was doing. At the back of my mind, I’ve always wanted to work in a creative role, something that requires my brain and creativity, something that I enjoyed tackling challenges and required me to think. I felt like a robot following formulae and the job routine was killing me slowly inside. To top it off, the environment wasn’t that great. After my pregnant colleague had left, I was left with another colleague whom wasn’t that helpful and leaning towards the rude side. I was so afraid of asking for help at work as I knew the response would be ‘Do it yourself’ or ‘How come you don’t know this’ … There weren’t much interactions at the office either, my 8 (or 9) hours at work would be in dead silence. I tried to initiate small talks many times but it was just one sided (from me) and the conversation lasted 2 sentences. I wish the phone would ring so that I could hear a human voice. I longed to talk to someone but there wasn’t someone I could talk to (at work or at home).

I wanted to quit so badly, I talked to my mom and she convinced me not to, and I didn’t quit,  I told myself just keep carrying on for the sake of 1 year work experience for my visa. Talking about the visa, the feeling of being ‘trapped’ came in as Australia immigration rules kept changing at that time. My future in Australia was uncertain, it added to my stress.

I was also studying CA and working full time, and it was tough juggling studying and working. I remember had to take stress supplements with the hope that it might make me feel better. I talked to my mom about my feelings, and it was no help. I guess with parents, or Asian parents (or maybe just my parents), the feelings of their kids come after career and security. My mom wanted me to keep that job as it provided me with a stable income. She saw my feelings as temporary and something that I could tolerate (I didn’t think so). She convinced me not to quit, and I listened, she didn’t realise that I was falling deeper and deeper into a depression. I knew she wanted the best for me but I wish she would have said ‘Follow your heart’ and not some stability or security advice. My heart broke a little as I had expected more understanding and comforting conversation.

I listened to her and stayed at the job. But also from that moment, I told myself that whatever decisions I made in life will be my decisions and not someone else’s. It was good to talk to mom but she probably isn’t the one that gives the best advice. I am now ‘the captain of my ship, the master of my soul’ and only me is responsible for how I want my life to be.

As I couldn’t bear living in a dark box any more, I ended 2012 with a solo trip to Melbourne where for the first time for the last couple of years, I felt a total burst of freedom and got bitten by a travel bug. The trip was like a defibrillator that lifted me out of my depression. I was travelling alone and I felt GREAT.

2013 got better as the rude colleague resigned and I had a new colleague who I could finally talked to. We talked all shit at work: Master Chef, airplane crashes, Sydney siege, all the news and rubbish, personal lives, gossips, etc . We also started attending exercise training sessions with a personal trainer. Work got more interesting. I also got reconnected with some old school mates and formed a regular hang out group. My physical and mental health improved, finally I had some social life. I ended 2013 with a road trip with a friend’s friend’s friend (basically some strangers) and after 3 days, we became a very close knit group of friend whom I hang out often with until now.

2014’s highlight is another solo trip to New Zealand, travel bug bit me again. We started using different accounting software at work and I felt like I had more control over my work now. I finished all my studying for CA program. Things in life were slowly getting better.

2015 was probably the best year. I kickstarted the year with a trip back home (Vietnam) – first trip back home after 3 years. Then I became an Australian citizen. Over Easter, I did another road trip down south and saw incredible sights of Western Australia. I’ve been hanging out a lot with my friends this year, almost every weekends are booked up. Life is getting fun. And it’s also the time I decided to leave Perth 😦 to travel to UK on a working holiday visa. As per above, I organized everything myself and kept this decision to myself till the last minute and didn’t tell my mom until only a few days ago as I knew she would again advise me to stay at my job, settle down and maybe get a mortgage. Classic advice any (Asian) parent would give to their children!

I know deep down in my heart, I don’t want to settle down just yet, I want to travel, I want to see the world, I want to experience as much as possible, I want to be adventurous and have a life any 20s should have. Seeing my friends getting married, buying a house, having kids, started doing business … I just can’t see myself in their position (yet). A bit of me envies them as they have already started a family/business and taking over all these adult responsibilities, but a bigger of me feel lucky that I now have so much freedom and so little responsibility, and proud that I am brave to do something that some of my friends say it is crazy or just don’t have the nerve to do. Life is too short to not do something you want. I don’t want to be down the road in 5 or 10 years time and regret that I could have been more adventurous. You can have more opportunities to make more money in your life but the youth juice is running out fast.

Hey Perth, you gave me more hard times than good times but I appreciate all the toughness you have thrown at me because each one is a lesson. I learned that sometimes there are things that need to be let go, and there are things that need to be taken control of. I learned that money does not always make you happy. What makes me happy is to have a sense of purpose in life, a passion that I can follow and the meaningful people around. It has been a self-discovery journey and a meaningful one. Apology for hating you at first and a lot of whining about how boring you are, but I have learned to love this city and want to thank you for helping me write a chapter of my life. I can’t promise I will return to live but definitely will come back and see you some day.

A personal note for people who are facing depression: keep walking as there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Good bye Perth.

My favourite in spots in Perth – Part 4. South Perth foreshore

Since moving to south of the river late 2013, this place has become my weekend favourite spot, replacing Matilda Bay which now seems a bit too far. I love coming here on the weekend for a jog along the Swan River, it’s just so relaxing and peaceful, the view of the CBD across the river is spectacular too. Especially at night when the lights in those buildings lip up, creating a very metropolitan/romantic scenery. I am lucky enough to work in South Perth and drive along South Perth foreshore every day, still doesn’t get sick of the night scene.

Talking about South Perth foreshore, I am including not only Sir James Mitchell Park, but also McCallum Park and Charles Paterson Park, basically everything along the river stretching from the Ferry Station to Burswood Casino.

My favourite thing about this area is that it has long running and cycling tracks along the river and connects to north of the river as well, perfect spot for some exercise over the weekend. It also has a number of exercise stations near Causeway, and what’s more, plenty of BBQ pits.

If you’re lucky enough (I know I am), you can spot dolphins in the river, and see a lot of pelicans as well.

On Australia Day, this place is a perfect spot for watching firework, you have a better view here than being on the other side of the river (i.e Langley Park). Here’s a photo I took on this year Australia Day.

Tip:

– Perfect spot for picnic, BBQ and group gathering.

– There’s a swamp in the middle of Sir James Mitchell Park for you to discover.

– Tends to be very sunny in the afternoon, use sun screen.

– Keep an eye on the river for dolphins

– McCallum and Charles Paterson Park are less popular, mean less people and more BBQ pits available, equally beautiful.

South Western Australia: Wild and Beautiful

Western Australia (WA) is wild and beautiful, it’s a fact that no one can deny. Over the course of the past few years, I have been lucky enough to have the opportunities to travel around and explore the Southern region of the state I’m living in. I reckon it’s time to sit down and compile a list of the destinations that I have been to, so that if anyone is new & keen to do a road trip to discover this state, I hope you can find a few places that can add to your itinerary.

1. Rockingham

Starting from Perth, the first destination that I stopped at during my recent road trip is Point Peron, Rockingham. You need to park your car and follow the walking tracks to the cape & lookout points in order to see the stunning rock formation.

My favourite spots in Perth – Part 3: Beach edition

3. South Beach

My sincere apologies to Cottesloe Beach, the most famous beach in Perth, for not putting you at number one in this list. Yes, I gotta admit that I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. Your white sand, your crystal clear water, your green grass, the pine trees, your rocky groyne, and especially your sun set, all of them would definitely make any visitors say the word ‘Wow!’ and fall in love. You were the only beach I’d like to go to whenever I felt like going for a dip, watching the sunset or going for a walk at night. You had been my favourite (& only) beach for years, until one day, I went off the track, and had an affair with South Beach (SB).

Sorry Cott, it doesn’t mean I stop loving you, just that you are now too famous & I’m not used to being under the spot light (a.k.a touristy), sometimes you’re a bit moody (a.k.a hard to predict when waves are big or calm), and your little parrots really deafen my ears when the sun sets (beach goers know what I mean). Then I met SB, everything changed.

Okay, enough with my imagination, otherwise I can go on pointlessly for another 1000 words.

SB has become my favourite beach since summer 2014, I wish I had known about this beach earlier. The discovery of this great spot happened in one boring day at the office; it was hot, I was reminiscing my summer days in Vietnam & the realisation that I had not touched sea water for months. I started typing in Google search box ‘calm beach in Perth’. Thanks to Google, Google Maps, Trip Advisors & my GPS, I finally made my way here (and have been coming here on almost every weekend as long as the sun is up). Though I have to complain, a one way trip to SB takes me half an hour drive, but it’s worth it.

What great about South Beach is that it is equally beautiful but less touristy & crowded compared to Cott or Scarborough, it’s known mostly by the locals. Most of the time I think my brother and I are the only 2 Asians on the beach, we felt quite exotic. Another thing is that it has a great green grass area, and it’s so easy to find a good shady spot to lie down (try to do that in Cott or City Beach in a hot summer day!). The water is much calmer and perfect for swimming. Oh, it also has a groyne that separates the dog beach and the human beach. If not for the lack of lamp posts, the picture below can be mistaken for Cottesloe Beach. I personally prefer the dog beach side as the water seems to be bluer and clearer (pic below), and also because I love looking at the dogs playing with the water, that’s why.

There is also a great running track in between the 2 beaches if you are into fitness. I normally do 1-2 loops to warm up before getting into the water.

Tips:

– Totally a family friendly beach, you can have a picnic in the grass area, then go down for a swim.

– Don’t bring a surf board here as you will look like an idiot.

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A quick shout out to my another favourite beach, Rockingham Beach, also has calm water, be careful with the jellyfish though. My brother normally goes fishing at night here with his friends and always bring back more than 10-20 fishes a night. His tip is that he always bring along some pieces of bread and chopped chicken meat, throw them into the water to lure the fish, wait for a few minutes then start fishing.

And of course the first Perth beach I’ve been to, Cottesloe, which needs no introduction (pic taken in 2008):

And finally the best beach I have ever been to, not in Perth but down in Albany, Little Beach (Two Peoples Bay, Nanarup, WA). You can’t even believe how beautiful the water is unless you are there yourself – I’ll post more on down south trip later.

Tips on going to the beach in Perth (from personal experience):

– Try to go in the morning, as it will become windy in the afternoon and there will be waves (blame the Freo doctor).

– Beaches from Fremantle to the south are calmer than northern beaches.

– Catching the best sunset is when the sky is cloudy or scattered with clouds (especially after a rain)

– Wear sunscreen, apply generously as Perth’s sun is pretty harsh

My favourite spots in Perth – Part 2. UWA

 2. The University of Western Australia

Continue of my previous post about my favourite places in Perth, this post is about a very special place of mine – the University of Western Australia (Crawley campus).

This is where I spent most of my time between 2009 – 2011, either sleeping in the libraries or sleeping in the lectures, but finally managed to graduate with a Bachelor of Commerce, which I still do not know why I had chosen this path (to all the kids out there, follow your dream & passion, not your parents’ & teachers’ “recommendations”). Anyway, no regret, as it was a stepping stone for me to land a job, get work experience and become an Australian resident.

I first visited UWA in 2008 during a school excursion and immediately fell in love with the campus. My first impression of UWA is that it was like Hogwarts in Harry Potter. It was exactly what I had imagined of going to college was like (from watching romantic Korean dramas). Its limestone architecture, its big grassy areas, its big trees, its old walls covered with vines, etc … all of it gave me a feeling of wanting to study here, to belong here, to have the time of my life here. Though later on, my time at UWA wasn’t that exciting than what I had expected it to be, maybe because I am a boring person, or because we didn’t get to study in those beautiful buildings, which they used for administrative stuffs, so no moments of staring out the window and day dreaming, also no ‘Love story in Harvard’ that I had imagined that would happen to me here either.

If one were to ask me what my most memorable moments at UWA were, it’s hard to come up with one, not that I had many, but because I have none (haha, maybe I am exaggerating here). Nonetheless, I still remember some not-too-important moments, like in my 2nd year, I had a huge crush on my handsome law tutor, whom has curly hair and blue eyes and every time we made eyes contact, I froze.  On a positive note, I did study hard for that unit in order to be able to answer his tute questions and didn’t do bad at the end at all. I’ve recently started online stalking him again and I think he’s now a photographer, … and looks older. From then on, I discovered a fact that all these laws students, especially those Law/Com guys are pretty hot, and I have a tendency to be attracted to guys with curly hair (plus blue eyes would totally kill me).

Another not-too-important story is that I did attended class with a guy who used to date Emma Watson (yes, that Emma Watson, from Harry Potter), even if nobody knows about it, I feel like I kind of having a connection with a famous person. And I definitely remember the big hail storm that shattered our 100 years-old glass windows of Withrop hall, some car windshields, and white ice covering the Great Court and James Oval for people to throw around post-storm. Yep, those are the highlights of my college life – Stalking other people: a lot; Achieving academic success: not so much.

Even though my Uni life is not worth to write a book or make a movie about, the campus itself is pretty  lovely. There are a lot of beautiful secret spots in the campus itself to discover, not really secret secret, more like hidden and not popular known & visited by students. Very often I found myself being the single visitor of the venue and had the whole place for myself (like the pic above). Some of the places I like to wander alone in the campus are: the Sunken Garden, the Sommerville Auditorium, the Tropical Grove, the court near student admin office (behind coffee shop), the riverbank behind new Business building, and many more, I won’t list them all here, go and discover the campus! It’s not as big as other Universities so you won’t need a car.

Tip: try standing and taking photos in between the limestone pillars along the hallway.

Games:

1. Try to find and count how many peacocks living in the campus (yes, real living peacocks). Hint: they’re living in Arts building.

2. Look at the clock at Winthrop Hall, spot the error (you have to go and see in person)

My favourite spots in Perth – Part 1. Matilda Bay

This post is probably a few years late since I have been living in Perth for about 7.5 years now and have not posted a single entry about Perth. Since I have finally made up my mind to depart Perth for good this year and embark on an unplanned adventure, I thought I’d better share some of my favourite places of this lovely city that I often visit. In case you are new to Perth and like to discover this lovely city, feel like going for a walk or need a place for own reflection, I hope you find this useful.

All photos in this post are taken by me using my point and shoot camera & an iPhone 3. At first, I planned to lump all places together in one post, but it may be too long. So, I will tackle one place at a time.

1. Matilda Bay

Sitting at the top of my list is the peaceful Matilda Bay, located next to UWA Nedlands campus.

I used to study at UWA but hardly come here. Only after I graduated, this became my favourite spot. I think I used to come here every weekend when I lived in Daglish, to have a BBQ or just lie down on the grass and chill. The thing about Matilda bay reserve is that I hardly see any students gather there (some but not too many), they are probably stuck in the campus libraries like me throughout my 3 years at UWA, or hang out in Oak Lawn or the tavern in campus.

This place is normally quiet but tend to get slightly busier during weekends, especially during summer, where the locals love to have picnics and children’s birthday parties here, and they could be seen swimming or kayaking on the river. The reserve has a big grassy area with free electric BBQ, public toilet, a restaurant near by and ample car parks along Hackett Dr, very accessible. It’s a very family friendly place, so probably not a suitable place for you to go skinny dip 😉 even though that floating pontoon looks tempting.

You will often ( for me, it’s always) encounter a bevy of black swans here, or if you’re lucky, you can spot a school of bottlenose dolphins swimming in the bay. I will definitely miss this great spot when I leave Perth 😦 Tip: If you bring a picnic blanket, an afternoon nap here is highly recommended 🙂