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Hi, my name is Ha and I turned 27 last month. Till date, I have stepped foot in over 20 nations in the world and have lived in 4 different countries across 3 continents, and in about 2 months, I will be making a move to a 5th country.
People move house, I move continent.
Some people spend their entire life at one place and never know the outside world, and here I am, about to make a new life in a 5th country, which at this point in time, I do not know where I am going next. Potential contenders: Ireland, the Netherlands, or even a bit further, the USA. Basically anywhere that takes my passport. Guess you will have to come back and find out in 2 months time.
Why I move to so many places and how I do it? Here are the tips & lessons I’ve learned from over a decade of being an expat (or as I call it: citizen of the world) and why I think you should at least move abroad once in your life.
WHY
1. You will learn about yourself
You’ve probably already heard the above statement a couple of times from many bloggers & travellers, online or offline. Well, if they keep saying, it must be true.
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Being abroad is different from being at home, you have no usual distraction around you, whether it’s family, relatives, friends, all the gossips, the social pressure, etc … all these things have been the things that block or prevent you from having the time to learn about yourself without you realising it. And then when you first go abroad (by this point I hope you realise that I am not talking about 1 week vacation), these distractions (may or may not) disappear. Instead, you are overwhelmed with everything in that foreign land, from a different language (in my case) or different accent, different way people greet each other, different food, different transport system, different rules, different weather, different currency, different measurement system, and many more differences that you have to learn as quickly as you can to adapt. And within 2-3 weeks with a few hiccups along the way, you now know how to greet people like the local, how to take a bus to school/work, you know where to get food or where the ATM is. And give it a month or 2 more, you have now probably memorised the bus timetable or the prices of your usual grocery, you might also know the shortcuts to get from A to B in your neighbourhood or at your campus, you might even impress some of the locals you know about changes in public transport schedule, or ways to get discount at the shops or there’s a massive sale somewhere, it’s because the initial period is when you pay the most attention to things around you, it was when all your senses were most alive. And that’s my friend, it’s the first lesson: You are adaptable and more capable of many things than you think you are.
That lays the foundation for many lessons to come in the future. One of those is you learn that you are a better cook than than your mom (because eating your own food put you on weight). Another lesson is the discovery of the word ‘introvert’.
2. You will learn about themselves
Enough about yourself, which I will leave it to you to explore with the dialogues in your head (and trust me, you will have many). It’s time to learn about others.
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Being abroad has changed my perspective on people, life, politic, race, religion, gender, history, ambition, goals, philosophy, relationship, hairstyle and fashion significantly. I no longer have middle part hairstyle, it’s also no longer black, I also no longer wear sandals, and have learned to adapt skirts, dresses and heels sometimes, believe it or not I even put on makeup nowadays (wow!). I have managed to steer away from becoming a tomboy, that’s one achievement.
But the point I want to make is, by being abroad and immerse yourself in a different culture, it changes your perspective, you learn about different things; about the people that do not share the same skin tone with you; about the different ways they eat, that chopsticks and chillies are not for everyone, that some people don’t eat bacon, or all meat altogether, or things you eat backhome is considered gross here; about the way they dress, wacky or traditional, hide everything or expose everything; the different tones they speak; the different words they use; the different Gods they pray to; and that gays are human too. You learn that people are different and that’s perfectly okay, you see the beauty in them & grow to appreciate the differences.
And you see history from both perspectives, you learn that history is distorted and biased because now you can see the views from both sides, and you grown to form your own view and opinion. You still hate wars and politics, and this view would never change.
And then you realized you are in a different school of thought than you were in 12 years ago, some ideas you have even conflict with your parents, like you fight for the right to be single, and that you prefer dogs than having kids. By learning about others, somehow you’ve learned about yourself, you’ve grown.
3. Because of the people you meet
They will affect your life, for the better or the worse. They will make you realise that you are not alone in this foreign country land and the journey you choose to take is not that lonely. They become your friends, then best of friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, exes, if you lucky you will even meet the love of your life (mine stubbornly haven’t shown up). You will meet mentor figures that you look up to for inspiration, or a total weird trash ass that you try to stay away from.
You will meet the people that open many doors for you whether at restaurants or in your career. The people you meet are of all types and all backgrounds and come from different walks of life. You listen to their stories, you try to relate, you realise that we are all the same but different. They impact the way you think, you find that you are no better than others, and a lot of people are better than you, but you find your own individuality in the sea of people, and sometimes you find your own problems seem so insignificant.
You learn to love, you learn to hate, and you learn to let go, you realise that people change over time, and yourself too.
4. All the experiences and memories
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That first subway ride, that first laptop, first mobile, first camera, first sushi, first pizza, first time not living with family, first time skipping class or failing an exam, first kiss, first break-up, first job, first car, first accident, first time being drunk, first time to a club, first solo trip, and many firsts … all the things that will come around to almost everyone but only the experiences can be enhanced if you live overseas, especially when it is attached to a physical object or a location.
Nothing is as overwhelming and exciting as the first experiences in a new land, they engrave in your brain without you realising it or now. When you leave that country and only return to it a year or more later, you will feel what I mean. You experience memory flashback the moment you land at the airport, just like when it happens when you return home after along time away. For a moment you thought you recognise the custom officer and thought that’s whom you used to know (totally illusional here)
Because of all the experiences and memories you had at that place, for a moment you feel emotional, and yet happy at the same time. You wonder where the people you once knew are now. You reminisce on the things you did back in the day, you marvel at the reality that you did live overseas, the experiences you had, bad or good, all became beautiful and seem to fit in your little life puzzle.
5. Because the world is your oyster
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Who would have thought that a one way ticket trip to Singapore on 7th September 2005 could one day lead me to London. Who would have thought that I would be come a dual citizen of Vietnam and Australia. Who would have thought that I would be able to earn enough money to fund my travels in over 20 countries.
Well, the 10-year-old me dreamt about all of this, and it was just a dream to her. Watching the famous cities in the world, all the tall buildings, seeing the European countryside, the castles and palaces in far far away land on a small TV screen, and she told herself: one day.
That one day is here finally. I am now living and working in central London, in one of those tall modern buildings with fancy concierge, passing the iconic Tower Bridge every day in a red double-decker bus, the Shard and the Gherkins are in view from my bedroom window, and on the weekends I conquer countryside hills, visit castles & palaces or getting lost somewhere in Europe.
Who would have thought? Right? I still pinch myself occasionally.
Lots of paths open when you embark on your journey, one path will lead to another, and another, and another, and it might open to many other different paths, it’s just the question of whether you want to continue walking and exploring or not, because after all, the world is your oyster.
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6. And because you only live once
As if you need one more reason to go with your calling to travel abroad. This reason might not be applicable to you if you already travelled too much in your previous life.
HOW
1. Make up your mind
Because I believe it’s all about the mind game.
It can be (very) daunting at the thought of leaving your home country, especially when you know no one overseas, may not speak the language & all the differences that you will have to encounter. You start thinking about all the hassle to get there, all these admins, visa and travel documents, you think of all worst case scenarios that might happen, what if you run out of cash, what if you can’t fit in, you don’t know how or when to hand in your resignation notice at work, you don’t know what to tell your boss, your friend or your family, you start to worry about everything, you worry about your family worrying about you, the list goes on. You really want to do it like many people before you did, but the scary thought of it put you off. Your parents doubt your idea, your friends think you are mad and you reckon you have too much commitment to leave.
Oh well, ask yourself do you really want to do it or not? Of course no journey is completely smooth and you will encounter a few hiccups along the way but everyone will, it’s unavoidable. The key here is knowing what you really want and you set to do it. Once you make up your mind, everything else is just noise.
That brings me to point #2
2. Learn to let go
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Making up your mind can be easier if you learn to let go. Let go of the tangible and intangible things, of the people and relationship. It’s difficult to let go of something, whether it’s your favourite rental home, your car, your clothes, your souvenirs, all the things you are used to see and touch every day. Chuck them in storage if you can, or in my case, I sold all of it. It was hard when there is sentimental value attached to something, but if I can’t take it with me or can’t keep it, then someone should have it.
It’s even more difficult to let go of the intangible, the people, the relationship and memories you have had back home, because you love your weekend run along the river, the beach, the sun, the BBQs in your own backyard, the local street food, the hangouts with your friends; because you also know you will miss your family and your pets; you will miss out on someone’s wedding, celebrations or the birth of your niece, any many other things, because life still goes on when you are not there. But look at it this way, it will be an opportunity for you to get rid of the unwanted relationships in your life and start fresh somewhere else. Ugh… that annoying neighbour, finally you don’t have to see them again. Ugh… you keep bumping into your ex in the city, finally he will be out of your sight. Ugh… that b*tch keeps annoying you, finally you can get rid of her. But remember that the most fundamental people in your life: your family, will always be there.
3. Embrace the unknown
Amazing things happen outside of your comfort zone, you will never know and experience them unless you venture out of it.
I had no idea what life in London was like before landed here 2 years ago. All I knew was it is a big expensive city and wages for blue collar are low. I thought I wouldn’t be able to find a job here to afford the rent and my plan before I arrived was to stay here for 6 months while working in a pub or retail or something then move to some cheaper city. Well, guess what, the move from Australia to London and settle in this big city for me was a breeze. The hard bit was leaving everything behind in Australia. London welcomes me with open arm, I got a job within a month of arriving here and was lucky enough to find an affordable place just 1 minute walk from the Thames. Since then, many amazing things happen and 2 years in England are probably the best 2 years of my life so far.
And I am doing it again. In 2 months time, I will be moving to a new country, I do not know what lay ahead of me in that foreign land, but I know from experience for certain that as long as I am ready to embrace and venture into the unknown, many good things will come. You should overcome your fear and do the same too.
4. Embrace everything
Things happen, good or bad, if you can’t avoid something then may as well embrace it. Embrace the sunshine, embrace the rainy days, embrace the loneliness, the depression, the hardship; embrace the new friendships, the experiences, the opportunities. Embrace everything that happens to you, because it’s part of a chapter in your life. See life as a glass half full even though they say it’s half empty, be optimistic and open minded. You will become a happier person, and (hopefully) more likeable. Embracing everything also doesn’t mean you have to take everything in, you also need to master the art of not giving a f***, more on that later.
If life is a beach, knowing that it can rough sometimes, then we might as well take advantage of calm days.
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5. Pack and go
And now you have got your airplane ticket, you sold your car, you’ve just bought new suitcases. You have mixed feelings, you are sad, worried, panic & excited at the same time. It’s now too late to turn back now, airline ticket is non-refundable and you already quit your job. So, …
Ready. Set. Go
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Vietstralian 